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Phil on divorce: When someone your age dies what's the first thing you want to know. Died of what? Right? You want to know it is something that can never happen to you. Well it's the same with divorce. Tell me it was booze, cheating, physical abuse. No problem, I'm a monogamous social drinker and Claire only sleep-hits me.
Gloria on why the saying should be it's a doggie dog world: Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggie dog world is a beautiful world of little poh-pees.
Claire to Jay on costume selection: You can't just show up with a backwards cap and call yourself Snoop Dogg like you did last year. Jay: I didn't even know who that guy was. Haley turned my hat around and told me to say it. I thought he was a dog detective.
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