HaPpY BiRtHdAy!

Dear Tradd and Jackson,
      1,825 days.  That number sounds so large!   Your Aunt Jan told me a long time ago that with children, the days are long, but the years short.  I have never felt that to be more true than today....on your fifth birthday.  In some ways, I feel like you have been with us forever...but it's the small things that remind me of just how fast those days have passed.      

Holding your hands and feeling them lace in between my fingers...half the size of mine now.  Remembering when those little hands were chubby and barely filled my palm.

Buying you new shoes last week...size 11!  Your feet looked like boats to me when we tried them on, but sure enough your toes were at the end.  Remembering your first pair of shoes, those white, stride rite walking shoes.
Snuggling with you when you sneak into our bed in the early morning when it's still dark outside.  Realizing that when our heads share a pillow your feet almost reach to my knees.  Remembering you curled up on my chest your very first day.  

Our conversations when you try your best to understand this world. Just yesterday our conversation on the way to school went something like this...
Jackson:  Mama, Max is in heaven right?
Me: Yes, buddy he's in heaven.
Tradd:  And that's where God lives?
Me:  Yep, God and Jesus and Nana and Max and Pops...
Tradd:  Has he always lived there?
Me:  Yes, he's lived there forever and ever.
Tradd:  So he's never going to move?
Me:  I don't think so buddy..?...?...

You challenge me everyday...EVERY. DAY.

Knowing that our family will be changing with this new baby makes me look at you with new eyes.  I am hanging on to every day that we have together and trying my best to soak you up.... a friend told me the other day that after we have the baby and you come to see us in the hospital, that you will look so big to me...never bigger.  As excited as I am for that moment, it does make me sad a little bit.  It's been "us" for so long.  1,825 days to be exact....

Last night while he was tucking you in, I overheard your Daddy telling you about the day you were born.  Both of you squealing with laugher when he was acting silly made me hope you will always love to hear that story as much a we do. 
We love you precious ones!  Happy, Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mama