Love Letter: Month Eighteen

Dear Tradd and Jackson,
I've decided that once a month I am going to write a love letter to the the future "you", so that one day you can go back and read all about what your life was like. When you have kids of your own one day you will realize what I was doing all of the months before and could not keep this up until now....

You are beginning to look more like little boys and less like babies. I think your hair is what makes you look older all of the sudden. You both have been bald most of your lives and this is strange because Daddy and I both have thick hair. When you look back at pictures of yourselves I hope that you will not be mad at us for not cutting it. Just when I think I've gotten up the nerve,with scissors in hand, I can't do it....but it's coming very soon. I have to giggle when you wake up from your naps in the afternoon because you both look like distant relatives of Albert Einstein. Somehow, the way the light streams in your bedroom window and bounces off the thousands of stray hairs you still look like babies to me. That's why I can't cut it. I am trying to slow this process of growing up and if leaving those curls gives me even one more glimpse of you as babies, then the crazy hair stays.

You both have really started to play lately...by yourselves and together, but you like it best when we all play together. Every time I get in your play yard one of you immediately comes to sit on my lap. Usually you come to me with a book in hand(the "Bright Baby" books are your favorites)and you will sit with me as long as I will let you. It is in those moments, when I am trying to share my lap with both of you, that I am overwhelmed that I am your mama. And that we were lucky enough to have twins. I can not imagine just having one of you. People ask me all the time if y'all have a secret language between the two of you. Just once I'd like to have the nerve to say, "How should I know if it's a secret?" I do watch you playing together and you are communicating, but I am hoping it's in some early form of English because I was never good at when it came to foreign languages much less secret ones!

Neither of you are very interested in television and for that I am thankful. We want y'all to play like we did as kids, outside riding bikes until dark. However, there is one show that will stop you in your tracks when you hear the music. ELMO, or Melmo as you call him, is absolutely your favorite character. Maybe it's the way he talks or the way he repeats himself, but whatever it is..it mesmerizes you both. I even catch myself humming that tune...La la la la- la la la la- Elmo's World...

School started for all the kids this week and while Mommy does miss teaching, I am so thankful to be home with you. I guess I am still teaching, I've just got a much younger class! You both are doing very well with saying words and using sign language. The funniest thing that you have done lately is trying to sign "I love you". You both get your arm up like a chicken wing and point your whole hand down...more like a gang sign gone bad, but we are working on it.

As I am writing this, you are sleeping in the next room like angels. Y'all are great sleepers, sometimes sleeping 11 or 12 hours a night and then taking a 3 hour nap during the day. You have gotten use to sleeping in the same room and you rarely wake each other up. Secretly though, if your Daddy is out of town I will grab one of you and sneak into our bed. I love snuggling up to you and watching you sleep. I still creep into your room at night to cover you up and make sure you are comfortable. I am still whispering for you to stay my baby boys. Just stay.

Love,
Mama