1.18.2016

Now it can be 2016 and my new life plan.

So it took me a while to get Christmas out of my head and out of my house and back into the attic, but it's all cleaned up and packed away.

I love the beginning of the year.  Brand new planners and calendars that still have blank space.  Brand new Paper Mate flair pens that still have an extra sharp point.  People are setting goals and intentions and choosing words.  For a moment, I feel on top of things with all the days stretched out in front of me.

I was glad to see 2015 go.  A lot of not so good stuff happened in 2015.  Some of my people lost their people.  Mamas and husbands and friends, the very people they never imagined living without.  Bad things happened to good people.  Marriages were low and high and low again.  Our boys learned some hard lessons.  We felt the pains of growing.

But a lot of good stuff happened in 2015 too.  My people who lost people are living with a heaven purpose.  They are not moving on, but they are moving forward.  Bad things happened to good people {as they always will} and somehow it turned out a blessing.  Marriages were high and low and high again...but mostly high.  Our boys made us so proud.  People generally think we are doing an okay job at raising decent human beings and they tell me.  Hearing that feels really good.   We felt the pains of growing and called that good too.

I read something at the start of the year that has literally echoed in my brain every day since.  Jenn Hatmaker wrote...

As you move into 2016 hoping for a saner schedule that prioritizes your actual life and keeps you focused on the things that matter the most, let me share the decision-making filter my agent Curtis always gives me:
"If it's not a HELL YES, then it's a no."
So that medium yes, that I-feel-like-should yes, that guilty yes, that coerced yes, that I-actually-hate-this-thing yes, that I-guess-so yes, that who-else-will-do-it yes, that careless yes, that default yes, that resentful yes, that I-probably-shouldn't-but-struggle-with-boundaries yes? NO. Nope.
No thank you. I am unable to commit to that this year. Thank you so much for asking, but any new yes I give right now means a no to my family and sanity. I am so flattered you asked and count on my prayers, but I am at my maximum bandwidth right now. I appreciate your work so much, but I've already committed my time and energy this year. I've loved being a part of this, but I am no longer able to continue. We are aggressively focused on x, y, and z this year, so as a family we've agreed on no new commitments. This is what I can give but won't be able to do more right now.
Now, the things that make your heart race, your blood pump, the fire in your belly burn, your gifts to leap to life, and keep your family and home healthy and strong...the hell yeses? ALL IN, BABY.
So armed with my new planner and pens, the stack of books that I vow to read, 
the intentions that I will keep and those that I'll forget...I'm ready for 2016.  

Know that if you get a YES from me in 2016...it's going to be a HELL YES.  

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